Title: Loud Hands
Pairing:Onew x Key
Rating: NC 17
Genre(s): angst, romance
Summary: There are many ways to see things.
Title: Loud Hands
au! onkey | 2422 words | pg-13
Jinki forgot that after the break up with Kibum, they were still living in the same town
au! onkey | 7810 words | pg-13
[I] [II] [III]
au! onkey | 1194 words | pg-13
meanwhile, he would try to endure the loneliness
title: brighter than the autumn sky
Kibum met his sunbae at the unexpected place and situation.
Kibum was a force that counterbalanced Jinki’s lackluster lifestyle; Kibum told Jinki that he’s the paperweight he needed to pull him back down whenever he’s too uncontrollable.
And, oh, goyangi's het fic is an exception. I've already read her works for, like, 100x. :) But I will still appreciate every fic you'll recommend. Thank you very, very much!
And by the way, Moderator-nim? Are you around? I just want to say hi! :)
Word Count: 3,464
Genre : slight angst, romance
"Kibummie...Kibummie... Don't go. Don't leave me." I said with tears.
"Sorry, Jinki. But we're never meant together." He said with a dull tone.
"Is it because I'm clumsy? I swear I'll change. Please, Kibummie." I was begging him to stay. But I was ignored. And his last words broke my heart.
"I just don't love you anymore." Then he left.
"KIBUMMIE!" I shouted.
Oh. It was that dream again. But I wouldn't say it's a dream. It really did happen. And it keeps haunting me every night. What did I even do to deserve this? Is it because I was unsociable and dorky? And he's popular?
I take a look at the calendar. And it's been a year since he left me. I tried to forget and move on. But I can't. Every space in this apartment reminds me of our memories. The way we cuddle on that couch in the living room, when he cooks for me in his kitchen which I didn't touch ever since he was gone, and how we make love in this very room. I know I should've moved away from here. But something makes me stay.
At first I thought it was a joke when he said he wants to break up. We were happy. We even went to a date to his favorite places on that day. We ate his favorite food. I did all I can to make him happy. But I guess my efforts are not enough to make him stay.
That godforsaken date. October 6. How could he leave me? Just when he promised that we'll be together forever. Did he have his fingers crossed and didn't meant what he said?
I sometimes check him through his facebook and instagram. I guess he moved on. Seeing he always meet up with a certain guy. I sometimes wish I could punch the guy next to him in pictures with his arm around my Kibum's shoulders. I left out a sad chuckle at the thought. My Kibum? He doesn't even belong to me now.
'He belongs to Kim Jonghyun now.' I thought. And it broke my heart. Seeing the one I loved and still love is with someone else. I should've been in his place. Smiling and laughing next to Kibum. But I guess luck isn't on my side right now.
Everything's like a clockwork to me now. I woke up, eat breakfast, and think of Kibum all day. I'm glad I have my dongsaeng, Taemin. He always keep me company eversince that day. I'm amazed he still sticks with me after a year of being with a person who spaces out all day. He even brings his boyfriend, Minho, to cheer me up.
I laugh as I look at my reflection on the mirror. The once promising medicine student Lee Jinki looks nothing like this. This skinny, horrible looking person is a stranger to me. No wonder Kibum left me. He's beautiful, perfect and famous. He shouldn't be seen around with a person like me. I'm such a disgrace to society.
I made my way to the kitchen and saw the breakfast Taemin left me. It's stuck with a note that said 'Smile :)'. How could I smile when the person that gives me happiness is not here? I always have to force myself to smile when Taemin is around. I don't want to worry him. But I know he's not dense. He can always read me like a book. I feel like were always playing the Age Reversal Game. He's my hyung and I'm his dongsaeng. I want to change. I want to move on. Forget things and start over.
"I'm pathetic." I said in this empty room. I once again laughed at myself.
"You know that's not true." Minho began walking his way towards me.
"Oh. You're here. Taemin's not around." I said.
"Actually, Taemin sent me. To check on you." He said as he sat in front of me.
"I'm fine." I lied. I know I'm not okay. I'm nowhere near okay.
"I know you're lying. It's been a year, hyung. Why not forget and move on?" He said. I said Taemin can read me like an open book. Scratch that. Taemin and Minho can do that.
"How can I get away from you two? You always worry about me." I sighed. I always want to do what he said. But somehow I can't. There's this longing feeling I have that maybe, just maybe Kibum still feels the same.
"You can use this day to think of him one last time and start to take the next step towards your recovery. Back to the Lee Jinki we used to know."
I thought for a moment. Can I do what Minho said? To recover back to the old me? Can I? But for the few minutes, I sat in silence. He's right. I should really stop and moping around, sobbing every now and then. He's gone. He left me. And I have no choice but to accept the reality that we are not meant to be.
With a soft "Okay.", I put my plate on the sink and left Minho. I have to get ready for the day. Today's a big step for my new life. I think I deserve to spend the day as I wish. And tomorrow, I'll forget Kibum. Whether I like it or not.
I wore my white sleeveless shirt and a denim jacket. It was Kibum's gift for my 23rd birthday. He said he really likes these clothes on me. I also grabbed the necklace I gave him on our 4th anniversary which he gave back on our break-up.
So my concept for today is 'Think of Kibum today and forget him tomorrow'. I began my steps to go out. I see Minho on the living room with shocked eyes as he look at me. Maybe it's because this is the first time I will go out of this apartment without Taemin forcing me.
"I'll be back by night time. Don't worry about me." I said.
"Where are you going? And what are you gonna do?" He asked. Seriously, Choi Minho can be an umma sometimes.
"I'm doing what you said. To think of Kibum one last time and forget him afterwards." I saw him smile at my words. He went on my side and hugged me. Just a friendly hug.
"You're doing great. Always know we're always here for you." He said as he pulls away and pat my back.
"I know. And I'm thankful." I flashed him a smile. A true smile.
And he began to warn me about doing something reckless. To be back before 8. And to eat on time. It made me laugh. I don't even know who is older between us. After all those mother-like reminders, he told me to have fun and I went out.
Where will I go? To the restaurant where we used to eat all the time? Or to the amusement park where we had our first date? Oh. I forgot about this. The place where we first met. I'll just go to our University. Where we became a Campus Couple. Envied by the others around us.
It makes me feel happy yet sad all of a sudden. Couple. We were a couple. The nerd medicine student and the design major social butterfly. We were a match. We have the same interests. Like a match made in heaven. I just can't think of a reason he'll break up with me.
I gave him my best. He's seen my worst yet still love me. Or does he really love me? After walking for 10 minutes, I was at the gates of our University. All I got was stares from my former batchmates. I just walked casually. Let them stare. They will not benefit anything from it. Neither do I.
After a walking for another 5 minutes, I'm here. The place where Lee Jinki met Kim Kibum for the first time. The small park bench under the cherry blossom tree.
It was late in January, 5 years ago. I'm reviewing for another thesis presentation for Biology 101. Organs, Body, Illnesses. That's all I think of. I should ace this presentation or else Umma may be disappointed in me. I was always a straight A student since my elementary days. I was even dubbed as the 'Child Prodigy'. It wasn't really surprising when my parents wanted me to take medicine. And as an obedient son, I did.
My head was aching from all those information and notes I need to familiarize and memorize. It was just 9 in the morning yet I feel so drained. I sighed as I look at the blooming Cherry Blossom trees right above me. Looking at them makes me feel so calm. And I just thought maybe a good thing will happen to me.
"Excuse me. Can I sit here?" I heard a student asked in English. Gesturing at the space beside me.
"Yes, you can. It's not occupied anyway." I replied in English while taking a short glance at his face. High cheek bones, feline eyes, pale skin. I never thought a boy, scratch that, a human being could look this pretty.
"Oh, Thank God. I could finally talk to someone. I'm Kim Kibum by the way." He said and offered me his hand.
"Jinki. Lee Jinki." I shook his hand and smiled. I better make good impression.
"Oh my! Jinki-sunbaenim? Sorry for not recognizing the Child Prodigy. Sorry for my rudeness." He was shocked. No, more than shocked if it was possible.
"Rudeness? Please. You don't need to apologize. It's okay. I'm just a student not some President or Heir to some company." I said. He began to blush and mumbled a soft, 'Okay'.
We soon got into a comfortable atmosphere and began telling stories to each other. I learned that he's a transfer student from America. Majoring in Fashion Design. I think it suits him. His pretty face and unique fashion sense told me so. He's pure Korean but only knows basic words or sentences. He even asked me to teach him Korean. And I, of course, agreed.
Since then, we became friends. Bestfriends actually. We would always come to this Cherry Blossom tree whenever we have free time and talk about things. He always makes me feel calm. He also makes me feel important. And for once in my life, I found real happiness.
I've always been under my parent's control. They always thinks that they know what is best for me. But Kibum opened my eyes to the world in front of me. And now that I knew, I could only laugh at myself back then. I was manipulated. I believed things that aren't true. And for some reason, he made me feel alive. Like I was not some kind of a puppet.
It went on for a year. And every single day of that 365 days was like a difficult test for me. I always feel something indescribable when I'm with him. Like when he hugged me on the day he got the first place for designing. Or that one time we accidentally held hands when I was about to pass him his sketchbook. My heart beat fast and my breath is hitching. And for the first time in my life, I fell in love.
I avoided him. I think that he'll hate me once he finds out. My parent's aren't gonna like this. I'll just protect myself from being hurt. After all, not everyone stays in the end. It hurt a bit. But I've got to do this to save myself from misery. It's the best for both of us.
But once again, he proved me wrong. Did Kibum think I never saw those longing stares he gave me everytime I walk pass him? Or that bitter smile he flash whenever he saw me? I was a jerk. A worst one. I remember that time he waited me at the school gates on that rainy evening. Kibum were soaking wet. But still, he waited for me.
"Hyung." He croaked. I was shocked. Kibum was so pale. He looks like he's gonna pass out any minute. And I only did one thing. I ran to his side and hugged himtight.
"Wae? What did I do wrong to make you avoid me? Answer me, hyung. I want us to be friends again." I feel that warm tear fell on my shoulders. He was crying. Because of me.
"That's it, Kibum. I don't want us to be friends again." I said. I feel you stiffen at my words. He just continued to sob. And I can't keep it to myself anymore.
"I love you, Kim Kibum. And I'm avoiding you because you're not feeling the same way as me." I pulled away from the hug and stared at his yes. I know he's shocked. And he began hitting me.
"Pabo! Pabo! Pabo Jinki! Did you know that you hurt me? What if I say I love you too? What if I felt the same way as you do?" Kibum asked me. I let out a bitter laugh.
"That's a what if Kibum. What if you're teasing me? What if that isn't true?" I asked.
"Just shut up.... and Kiss me." He pulled me into a kiss. It was just a peck. I never thought my first kiss will go on like this. I imagined it happening under the moonlight after a fun first date. But the hell with it. Everything's perfect with Kibum.
"I love you too, Lee Jinki." He whispered lovingly.
"So, let's go Yeobo? It's raining and we might get sick." I asked.
"Cheesy. But at least you're there to take care of me, right? Future doctor, Lee Jinki?"
"Anything for you, future designer Kim Kibum."
We became a couple. And like I said, envied by the other students. But as of today, we officially broke up for one year. I laughed at the thought. One Year passed on like that. After we broke up, I quitted Med school, cut ties with my family, and live in despair. And all I see is that he completely got over us, he's been successful in his career, and got someone whom he loves.
I think it was pretty unfair on how fast it was. But who am I to blame anyone? Afterall, Kibum was a social butterfly. He was loved by anyone. It wasn't pretty hard to find someone new, right?
After a few more minutes of reminiscing, I heard someone cleared his throat. I was reminiscing with my eyes closed so it took me a few seconds to adjust to the light as I opened my eyes. And look who's here, Kim Kibum.
"Excuse me. Can I sit here?" He once asked again in English. It was like a repeat of our first meeting. Except there are no Cherry Blossoms right now and we already knew each other.
"Yes, you can. It's not occupied anyway." I answered. The same thing I said on that day.
"It's been 5 years and you still remember it, huh?" He asked in Korean. I was proud that Kibum became fluent under my teachings.
"I was born with a very precise photographic memory, Kibum-ssi." I answered. I was afraid to look in those feline eyes. I'm afraid I will get caught in his spell once again. And I have to add honorifics.
"So, how's life?" He asked. I'm afraid to what will he say when I answer that I'm not fine. So, I had to lie.
"I'm fine as always."
"If your definition of fine is being skinny and sickly, I think you should sharpen your vocabulary words once again, Jinki." I felt him smirk at his words.
"Who are you to care about me anyway? I'm just a stranger to you." I asked. I held back my sobs that was threathening to flow out.
"Spending 5 years with you doesn't make you a stranger to me." You held my hand. How I missed this feeling. But wait, Kim Jonghyun. Kim Jonghyun might be waiting for him. So I had to pull it away.
"Why are you here?" I chocked out.
"Wae? Am I not allowed to?" Kibum asked in a disappointed voice. Why are you like this?
"Who am I kidding? Of course. Anyone's allowed here." I let out a bitter laugh.
"Don't act happy if you're not, Jinki. It doesn't suit you." He said. Once again, my mind is filled with questions.
"Why are you being like this?" I gathered all my courage to throw that question at him. And I was only met with silence.
"Why, Kibum? Why are you making it so hard for me to move on? Are you happy to see me like this? You broke me into a million pieces when you turned your back on me. But now, you're back to break it again?" I couldn't hold my tears anymore. And they keep flowing. I still continue to mumble the word Why.
Kibum rushed on my side and hugged me. I felt warm tears on my shoulder just how I felt them when I confessed to him. "I'm sorry, Jinki. I was wrong to leave you. I didn't want to. But they- they said they'll hurt you if I don't. And I can't bear seeing you suffer." It once again broke my heart.
"I loved, still love, and will love you Lee Jinki. Please take me back. I don't want to live without you anymore." And with those words, I pulled Kibum into a kiss. A kiss we both wanted a long time ago. Like an innocent, first time kiss. And after a few seconds, we both pulled away with smile on our faces.
"Will you still love me even in hardships and sufferings?" I asked.
"Of course. Because you are my strength. And I can't go on without you." He answered while staring at my eyes.
"How will I know you're saying the truth?" I asked. Better to be safe than sorry.
"I'll never leave your side even if you find it annoying. I'll kiss you every morning when you wake up and every night before you go to sleep. And I'll express my love for you better than before. I'll change for you." He answered. And I could feel his sincerity in his words.
"You don't need to change for me, Kibum. Just be yourself and love me. I will not ask for anything." I replied and enveloped him into a hug.
"One more thing. When you said they, who are you referring to?" I'm nervous of knowing the answer. Because I only have one thing on my mind. And as he said the words, I confirmed that I was right.
"Your parents. They wanted me to stay away from you. The said I was a hindrance to your bright future. I don't want to be a burd-"
"You're not a burden. You're my inspiration. And they are wrong to think of you that way." I said as I hugged him tight once again. I missed this. I missed us.
We catch up on each other's life for the past year. I now knew who Kim Jonghyun is. I can't believe he's his stepbrother. I never thought his Appa has another family. Or rather, he was from another family. And how he became awarded recently because of his new line. We went on a date. Our first one as a new couple.
I said I'll go back to med school. Finishing my course with flying colors for him. And setting up a small clinic for me to work on. And being a supportive boyfriend as he was, he smiled. I know we have a lot to catch up on. A lot of things to fix back. It needed time. But we'll succeed as long as we're together. I just know it.
Screw this forget Kibum and move on tomorrow thing. I will not let him go ever again. I will not listen to what other people says. I love him and that's all that matters. We'll just have to bury the story of our break-up and regrets over the past year. I know we'll now live happily. With all smiles and love.
I gave back the necklace I once gave Kibum back then. It still suited him. Still beautiful as ever. Kibum remembers the clothes I wore today and even complimented me. I never thought that we just needed a year apart to realize that we need each other to move on. It's like two broken compasses found each other despite the difficulties. And I knew from now on, we will always have each other.
- THE END -
Rating : PG
Genre : Romance, Fantasy
Pairing : Het!Onkey
Summary : A witch who fell in love with a prince
Pairing:Onew x Key
Rating: NC 17
Summary: The members always turn to Jinki when there's a problem they can't overcome on their own. Key can overcome almost everything.
( "You want me, Lee Jinki, to spank you with a leather belt." )
"This is all just pretend, right?"
Summary: Sequel to "Commandeered."
Length: About 2900 words.
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. I do not know the lives of the people in this story and do not suggest that these events actually occurred.
( “And the little mouse finally returns...” )
Summary: Smut with rival captains Lee Jinki and Kim Kibum because somebody had to do it.
Length: About 2300 words.
Disclaimer: Only the plot is mine. I do not know the lives of the people in this story and do not suggest that these events actually occurred.
( “I didn’t realize that I would be receiving such special service, Captain Lee. Although a part of me may have expected it.” )
Pairing(s): Onkey, side 2min
Rating: PG-13 (overall)
Genre: Romance, sci-fi (?)
Disclaimer: I don't own SHINee, I don't own any of the members. Their souls and bodies belong to SM, I am only a lowly, foreign fanfic writer.
“Something’s wrong, Taemin-ah. Key can’t – Kibum can’t breathe, please,” he pleaded. “I don’t know what’s going on.”